New energy is rising after the summer break, which was more like winter in my world. Yes, it’s been like a long, dark summer. I felt in need of a catch-up post. Where do I start? Well, firstly, I’m back and reconnecting to others, which is new. Hello 🙂

Whilst it’s been comforting to know that I can hermit in peace and quiet without anyone bothering me, I realise that this is not a sustainable way of life. Optimal mental health and ageing well requires us to socialise as one of the key steps to healthful longevity alongside good sleep hygiene, taking regular exercise, healthy eating, minimising stress and toxins, trying out new experiences and spending time in nature.

Socialising aside, I’m doing just great with the rest of those items on that list – self-care and self-love are easy to me. But, socialising is an ongoing area of improvement for me. As an introvert, I love my own company, get peopled-out really quickly and have to go and lie down when forced to be around others for too long. Additionally, since listening to people is my job, I need even more quiet time – more than I might need if I did a job that didn’t require intense periods of focusing on others, for example. But seeing as how that’s what I do for a living, I’d rather get home to my beloved wooden cabin that I love more than anything and spend time in nature in the peace and quiet, gently luxuriating in my own witchy world that took me a lifetime to create – not to mention a high price and a lot of sacrifice as that level of freedom doesn’t come cheaply or easily.

However, as with all things, there is a shadow side to this cosy life of mine, because my healing journey from the darkness of my past consistently asks me to look back and heal another wound and, then, another, and another… the Universe just keeps giving them to me as I grow and transform and evolve, over and over. Sometimes it is exhausting and sometimes exhilarating, but it’s always an ever-changing, upwards trajectory punctuated with deep dirty spells spent down in the mire.

Hermitting is necessary for me as an aid to the alchemical process of transmuting dross into gold, which is the leitmotif of my life that catapults and confronts me again and again, causing many changes in my personal dealings and professional offerings. If you follow me in any capacity, then you may have noticed many reiterations, reinventions, reincarnations… I fail again and again, learning and growing, failing better as Beckett said. When I discovered my Human design as a Reflector and saw that trying many things and getting them wrong was my actual design then I saw myself as a huge success and threw a massive pity party in celebration.

Suffering is never for nothing, however, and the treasures are manifold; this is my path and I am at peace with it. This path has taken me away from many people I have loved and still causes me to absent myself when I am forced to spend time on activities that require a lot of my attention, literally, and emotionally. I just don’t have the energy for anyone else outside of my closest circle. This understanding came late in life for me – not until my fifties. Before then, I was always busy, busy, busy, trying extremely hard and failing spectacularly, over and over to the point of burnout and collapse. My very first retreats in Spain were for professionals suffering exhaustion and compassion fatigue because I understand this so well.

Today, I don’t do this to myself anymore. I put boundaries around my space and time and I look after myself the best I can. This summer was a hard one with challenges relating to my most cherished loved ones and I went deep into the swamp of shadow work, practising forgiveness, and surrendering by offering up to the Divine. Eventually, the light began to shine through and dissolve the rigid chains of pain and suffering that had bound me so tightly. After darkness, there is light, always – and I am now reconnecting to those aspects of my work that light me up and energise me through love and joyful aliveness.

I have such a deep love for humanity as nature beings and my heart has always yearned to experience profoundly authentic and conscious relationships that show me we are all connected to nature. I believe that deeply intimate connections with ourselves, each other and the Universe are the gifts of a spiritual awakening. I see that suffering is but one way to these treasures and that this is my way, which is important to me because it also guides me to my people. I believe that no matter what trauma a person has experienced, no matter their background or what they have done or have had done to them, if they truly desire an authentic relationship in which they can be wholly their true nature selves with radical honesty and heart-opening, raw and loving intimacy, then the path to their desire can be found. I know these things with all my heart and I know that this is why I am here – to call it in for myself, to learn how to work it out and to support others to manifest it for themselves.

I’m going to be sharing and expressing on my social media platforms much more as I build my energy again and also beginning a newsletter. I am creating new ways of experiencing my way of working, whether you are an individual or a couple or part of a group. This includes in-person workshops and opportunities to work together in what I consider to be the best therapy space I have ever found for somatic practices, especially aspecting work. I am so grateful to have found an incredible room with cushioned floor space where I start this Wednesday in Kensington. Plus, I have workshops for couples in Lewes, East Sussex. I am building in my excitement for what I have to share with you, so if any of this resonates with you and you feel called to work with me.. please email and say hello ♥

hello@frayazellawolf.com