About me and my work

I am a BACP registered and accredited counsellor and psychotherapist and specialist couple’s therapist, a BPS registered social psychologist, an ICF intimacy coach , and a teacher with former post-grad teaching experience in UK universities. I am trauma-informed with a breadth and depth of experience spanning two decades in a variety of settings such as: the NHS, Safeline (child and adult survivors of child sexual abuse), Coventry Haven (domestic abuse), RAPt (Rehabilitation of Addicted Prisoners’ Trust) – working in a range of services and settings from prisons to high-end addiction treatment centres.

I work with individuals and couples in private practice at Pimlico Psychotherapists and Counsellors in London and online via Zoom and I also run training workshops and retreats. Initially trained in Rogerian (Carl Rogers) Person-Centred Counselling and Psychotherapy (BA hons), which is situated within humanistic psychology; and then, later, a university teacher in humanistic counselling practice; my way of working is grounded in humanistic theory and practice, which is an existential, authentic, relational and transpersonal approach. This means that I understand people as having an actualising tendency, which is a basic drive towards growth and positive change, and to develop and enhance oneself to becoming fully-functioning. This theory posits that the individual’s potential can be thwarted by life’s experiences – but also nurtured in an environment that has the right conditions for change, e.g., a good therapeutic relationship, where work at some depth can take place. In my teaching days, I was greatly impacted by a university research group that I was part of – led by Professor Stephen Joseph. Our discussions were influenced by positive psychology, human flourishing and post-traumatic growth that led me to believe that anyone can recover and survive all manner of horrors and go on to have happy and meaningful lives and relationships. I continue to strive to help clients become who they really are, to realise their full potential, and flourish as a human beings – no matter what their backgrounds and challenges.

I left academia when I began coaching, which has led me today to focus on couple’s therapy and intimacy coaching. My training as a sex, love and relationship coach with the VITA Institute is approved by the ICF (International Coaching Federation) and provides a good alternative to those looking for less clinical and more conscious approach to intimacy. The VITA (vital and integrated tantric approach) is a powerful and effective method that supports individuals and couples with a range of issues common to intimate relationships. The combination of neuroscience, parts work, Taoism and Tantra, means that we can understand how individuals relate to others, including partners or potential partners, depending on their attachment styles, trauma and stress responses, arousal styles and processing speeds. This is a holistic approach that includes mind, body and spirit; the somatic and spiritual aspects of this method honours the whole of the person not just their psychology. Drawing upon ancient practice of mindfulness, breathwork, energy work, movement and sound, we combine talking therapy with somatic therapy that acknowledges and works respectfully with the many parts within us such as the inner child, or the shamed part or the lost self, for example. When we can get out of our head and into the body, we can learn to work with our intuition, which is also known as our wise self or inner voice, and is often the part of us that knows what is best for us but has become latent due to our familial/societal/cultural conditioning. I have had much success with individuals and couples by combining therapy and coaching for a range of issues including: re-igniting intimacy after many years, learning how to talk about sex, overcoming the fear of intimacy, beginning dating in midlife, coming to terms with the end of a long marriage, learning how to communicate and connect instead of fighting all the time, and working through trauma affecting intimacy.

My practice in London runs on Thursdays for those who want to work in-person weekly and fortnightly. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I work online via Zoom. I also offer couples intensive therapy weekends in their own homes or elsewhere by arrangement, which can be followed by monthly sessions as required.

I can be contacted via the BACP website or by emailing hello@frayazellawolf.com

Training and achievements (chronological)

Undertook core training at the University of Warwick and gained a first class BA (Hons) in Person-Centred Counselling and Psychotherapy.  

Trained in Irvin Yalom’s method of interpersonal group psychotherapy with RAPt (Rehabilitation of Addicted Prisoners’ Trust) in London before working on drug treatment programmes in male prisons in the UK.

Awarded an MSc in Psychology with Distinction by Coventry University.

Completed specialised trained with Women’s Aid to practise as a Domestic Abuse Prevention Advocate.

Gained a Counselling Supervision Diploma with Lindum College. I provide consultative supervision to a range of practitioners interested in reflective practice and reflexivity.  

Awarded a PhD in Psychological, Social and Behavioural Sciences from Coventry University.

Achieved the status of Associate Fellow of the Higher Education Academy.

Certified as a VITA Sex, Love and Relationship Coach with the VITA institute.

Professional Affiliations

I am a registered and accredited member of theBACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy). I abide by the BACP Ethical Framework 2018