Author: Dr Wolf
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Presence, Alignment, Connection
Much of what matters to me in my work with couples can be understood through three simple qualities: presence, alignment, and connection. Again and again, I see how deeply people long to feel safe in their relationships — safe with their beloved, and safe within their own bodies. When that safety is present, something very…
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A Valentine’s Day Reflection
What hurts most for many people on Valentine’s Day, in my work, are the relational wounds rooted in early experience — and those wounds may be conscious or not. Whether you are single or in relationship, Valentine’s Day can bring excitement, joy, and pleasure, but can just as easily stir anxiety, pain, and disappointment. Often,…
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Relationship as the Path
There are seasons when clarity doesn’t arrive through effort, but through what quietly falls away. After periods of intensity, rupture, or profound relational learning, something simpler can remain — not answers, exactly, but a steadier place to stand. Lately, I’ve been aware that much of what I understand about love, presence, and truth hasn’t come…
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Aspecting Work and Autodrama
In my work with individuals and couples where there is relational trauma, I use somatic healing that employs several embodied, experiential processes for working with relational trauma, addiction, and abusive or adverse experiences that happen across the lifespan from in-utero, through childhood, into adulthood – usually through our relationships with significant others relative to those…
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A Long, Dark Summer
New energy is rising after the summer break, which was more like winter in my world. Yes, it’s been like a long, dark summer. I felt in need of a catch-up post. Where do I start? Well, firstly, I’m back and reconnecting to others, which is new. Hello 🙂 Whilst it’s been comforting to know…
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Journalling. Journaling. Journal intime.
The title offers two spellings as the US version is different to the UK’s – and I like the French translation, which highlights the intimate nature of personal reflections. I invite all my clients to journal. “Please buy a journal that you can dedicate to the therapy”, I say. Some take to it straight away,…
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New Year Dreams
It’s 2024! Happy new Year! As a therapist, I have noticed over the last few years that a lot of people have been moving away from New Year’s resolutions, quoting various articles on how they just don’t work. I even had a notice from my daily Guardian news update, exhorting me to not bother trying…
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Connecting is Being
The journey of transformation in Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) returns us to the place where it all started and where life began in the experience of being and feeling connected in a new sensation of relaxation, joyful aliveness and wonder. So say the authors of IRT, Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, who tell us…
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Yab Yum
Yab Yum is a classical Tantric sex position, in which the man/shiva or yang partner sits cross-legged or in the lotus position with the woman/shakti or yin partner sitting in his lap with her legs wrapped around his waist. Although Tantric sex is practised in a wealth of positions, the yab yum may well be…
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Trauma Work
Firstly, in order to heal, you have to leave the environment where the trauma is happening. As long as you keep moving in this field, you suppress many aspects of the trauma and pain, and this also suppresses the healing. Due to our defence mechanisms, we often don’t realise the extent of the pain until…
Dr Fraya Zella Wolf 