Author: Dr Wolf
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You Are Not Your Personality
What if some of the traits we judge in ourselves and others are not fixed personality flaws, but old protective patterns? A compassionate reflection on trauma, behaviour, boundaries, and seeing the human beneath the pattern.
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Tending Our Field
Last month, I wrote about the importance of having a village around us: people who support our healing, nourish our relationships, and help us feel less alone. This month, I want to stay with that theme, but turn towards our own part in it. Because while we cannot create a healthy village on our own,…
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Building a Village
Why Relationships Struggle in Isolation Many couples today are trying to build a life with one person… without the support that used to come from a whole community. This is something that couples therapist, Esther Perel, stresses the importance of creating, when she talks about “building a village.” We don’t just need a partner. We…
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Presence, Alignment, Connection
Much of what matters to me in my work with couples can be understood through three simple qualities: presence, alignment, and connection. Again and again, I see how deeply people long to feel safe in their relationships — safe with their beloved, and safe within their own bodies. When that safety is present, something very…
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A Valentine’s Day Reflection
What hurts most for many people on Valentine’s Day, in my work, are the relational wounds rooted in early experience — and those wounds may be conscious or not. Whether you are single or in relationship, Valentine’s Day can bring excitement, joy, and pleasure, but can just as easily stir anxiety, pain, and disappointment. Often,…
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Relationship as the Path
There are seasons when clarity doesn’t arrive through effort, but through what quietly falls away. After periods of intensity, rupture, or profound relational learning, something simpler can remain — not answers, exactly, but a steadier place to stand. Lately, I’ve been aware that much of what I understand about love, presence, and truth hasn’t come…
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Aspecting Work and Autodrama
In my work with individuals and couples where there is relational trauma, I use somatic healing that employs several embodied, experiential processes for working with relational trauma, addiction, and abusive or adverse experiences that happen across the lifespan from in-utero, through childhood, into adulthood – usually through our relationships with significant others relative to those…
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A Long, Dark Summer
New energy is rising after the summer break, which was more like winter in my world. Yes, it’s been like a long, dark summer. I felt in need of a catch-up post. Where do I start? Well, firstly, I’m back and reconnecting to others, which is new. Hello 🙂 Whilst it’s been comforting to know…
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Journalling. Journaling. Journal intime.
The title offers two spellings as the US version is different to the UK’s – and I like the French translation, which highlights the intimate nature of personal reflections. I invite all my clients to journal. “Please buy a journal that you can dedicate to the therapy”, I say. Some take to it straight away,…
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New Year Dreams
It’s 2024! Happy new Year! As a therapist, I have noticed over the last few years that a lot of people have been moving away from New Year’s resolutions, quoting various articles on how they just don’t work. I even had a notice from my daily Guardian news update, exhorting me to not bother trying…
Dr Fraya Zella Wolf 